How to Argue with Men!

Hi again !
look to this intersting topic which I read and I want to show u!!!


We have all seen a movie or read a book which teaches people how to resolve conflicts (“fight fair”). It usually involves talking calmly or repeating back to the person what they have said (i.e.: “Yes I hear what you're saying. You're saying I'm an idiot!”). I will admit there are times when these methods prove to be very helpful, yet not in every instance. One problem is that when people are angry and emotional, it is very hard to remain calm. Your heart beats faster, and you feel defensive. The smallest misunderstanding seems to take on enormous importance, and what started as a minor conflict, turns into a major battle.

Let us assume that you and your boyfriend/husband are in a disagreement. If he repeats his point several times and seems unable to get that same point across, it means he does not think that you are hearing him. Even if you completely understand, he doesn't think you are appreciative of his point. That's why he keeps repeating it. You may attempt to listen, but his anger only intensifies. You try and explain yourself, and the anger escalates. Why? There is now too much emotion involved. He may just want to argue and vent rather than resolve the issue. What are your options; be quiet or argue back? Thankfully, we at the Relationship Headquarters have a suggestion. Here is a 3 step process to get you out of a conflict with any man!

Rule #1: Only respond to a question. Frequently someone will make a statement which is designed to make you angrier. “I can't believe you were so late!” Most of us would respond to that by defending ourselves. This is a statement, not a question. Don't even respond unless you want to fight. You goal is simply to diffuse the situation, not to add gasoline to the fire. So, what should you do when you are presented with a question?...

This leads us to Rule # 2: Only answer the question. If they ask you “Why were you so late!?”, most people get defensive and explain that it wasn't their fault. Calmly, give the answer and the answer only. If your car broke down simple state, “My car broke down.” The goal is to remain calm (even if the other person's tone and manner suggest anger), and keep your response simple and to the point. Attorneys will often coach their clients prior to testifying in a court of law to follow this same simple rule.

Suppose even after following Rule #1 & #2 and your significant other is still upset. In fact his/her anger seems to intensify and/or escalate.

If this occurs, it is time for Rule #3. Calmly and evenly repeat this specific phrase word for word. Don't change a thing! “What would you like me to do right now?” After asking this question wait for a response. If the anger or accusations continue, again repeat the question word for word; “What would you like me to do right now?” No matter how the other individual responds, if they don't ask for something that is specific, and within your power at the present moment, you need to keep asking. The purpose of this question is that it reveals to you the other person's true intentions. If they want to resolve the conflict, they will come up with something specific and tangible for you to say or do (i.e.: saying you're sorry). If they won't/can't come up with something, it means only one thing: they only want to argue. At this point you need to leave. Leave the room, leave the house, or hang up the phone. You will resolve nothing, and no productive outcome will result by continuing the conversation. There can be only one result if you stay in the room. The other person will continue until they can successfully upset you.

Will these rules solve every conflict, probably not? Will they help you identify whether someone wants to resolve something with you or simply argue? You bet! What is certain is you will be amazed at how many conflicts can be resolved or avoided by following these 3 simple rules.