How to Argue with Men!

Hi again !
look to this intersting topic which I read and I want to show u!!!


We have all seen a movie or read a book which teaches people how to resolve conflicts (“fight fair”). It usually involves talking calmly or repeating back to the person what they have said (i.e.: “Yes I hear what you're saying. You're saying I'm an idiot!”). I will admit there are times when these methods prove to be very helpful, yet not in every instance. One problem is that when people are angry and emotional, it is very hard to remain calm. Your heart beats faster, and you feel defensive. The smallest misunderstanding seems to take on enormous importance, and what started as a minor conflict, turns into a major battle.

Let us assume that you and your boyfriend/husband are in a disagreement. If he repeats his point several times and seems unable to get that same point across, it means he does not think that you are hearing him. Even if you completely understand, he doesn't think you are appreciative of his point. That's why he keeps repeating it. You may attempt to listen, but his anger only intensifies. You try and explain yourself, and the anger escalates. Why? There is now too much emotion involved. He may just want to argue and vent rather than resolve the issue. What are your options; be quiet or argue back? Thankfully, we at the Relationship Headquarters have a suggestion. Here is a 3 step process to get you out of a conflict with any man!

Rule #1: Only respond to a question. Frequently someone will make a statement which is designed to make you angrier. “I can't believe you were so late!” Most of us would respond to that by defending ourselves. This is a statement, not a question. Don't even respond unless you want to fight. You goal is simply to diffuse the situation, not to add gasoline to the fire. So, what should you do when you are presented with a question?...

This leads us to Rule # 2: Only answer the question. If they ask you “Why were you so late!?”, most people get defensive and explain that it wasn't their fault. Calmly, give the answer and the answer only. If your car broke down simple state, “My car broke down.” The goal is to remain calm (even if the other person's tone and manner suggest anger), and keep your response simple and to the point. Attorneys will often coach their clients prior to testifying in a court of law to follow this same simple rule.

Suppose even after following Rule #1 & #2 and your significant other is still upset. In fact his/her anger seems to intensify and/or escalate.

If this occurs, it is time for Rule #3. Calmly and evenly repeat this specific phrase word for word. Don't change a thing! “What would you like me to do right now?” After asking this question wait for a response. If the anger or accusations continue, again repeat the question word for word; “What would you like me to do right now?” No matter how the other individual responds, if they don't ask for something that is specific, and within your power at the present moment, you need to keep asking. The purpose of this question is that it reveals to you the other person's true intentions. If they want to resolve the conflict, they will come up with something specific and tangible for you to say or do (i.e.: saying you're sorry). If they won't/can't come up with something, it means only one thing: they only want to argue. At this point you need to leave. Leave the room, leave the house, or hang up the phone. You will resolve nothing, and no productive outcome will result by continuing the conversation. There can be only one result if you stay in the room. The other person will continue until they can successfully upset you.

Will these rules solve every conflict, probably not? Will they help you identify whether someone wants to resolve something with you or simply argue? You bet! What is certain is you will be amazed at how many conflicts can be resolved or avoided by following these 3 simple rules.

How to live a happy and satisfied Life

In each day that passes by, we stand by and witness how our lives are being lived without the full happiness and satisfaction we crave and need. Most people spend their time stressed out, worried and on a constant panic about what needs to be done for their futures, raising their children, wired up over work, school, along with everything else. Does this sound familiar? Well if it does, it is because so many people live with this style and pattern. When you can start living that fully happy and satisfied life?

The only way you can live a happy and satisfied life, is when you start doing things that make you happy and satisfied. Sure, it sounds easy, and can be easy if you just remember to make yourself one of your top priorities. Too many people neglect themselves, feeling that it would be selfish if they took any time out to focus on their own being. While it is good to take care of others and other important things going on in your life, it is mandatory that you never forget about yourself. Discover who you really are and what matters most to you. Living a great life does not just happen. It requires, planning and following those plans to a life that reflects who you truly are.

Most people avoid planning goals and dreams in their lives because they may have a fear of committing to it or failing. They feel that by officially writing it down, they would actually have to go through with pursuing it. This is where you need to rate the importance of your life missions. What is most important to you? Is it losing a certain amount of weight? Getting your degree? Spending more time with your spouse or children? Whatever the reason or reasons may be, just write all of them down. You may feel that making a mental note of your goals and dreams is enough, but you could very well be setting yourself up for disappointment and failure. By writing it down, you will become a visual witness of those goals. Try writing them in an organizer, with a little reminder written in each day.

Setting deadlines for these goals would be a great way to assure they will be accomplished. Avoid disappointment by setting realistic deadlines. For example, if you wanted to lose 10 pounds, do not give yourself a week to do so. You will only torture yourself and become depressed when the week is over and see that you did not come even close to losing the 10 pounds. In fact, you may give up losing weight altogether because of the failure you experienced, simply because your deadline was unrealistic. Take some time everyday to look over your goals and remind yourself of how important they really are to you. Ask yourself why they are important to you too. Knowing that something is important is not enough. You must know the reasons behind the importance of the dreams and goals you have, so that your mind can see it more clearly and understand exactly why it is so necessary to go through with your missions.

Excuses are demons you must learn to fight off if you wish to start living a happy and satisfied life. Most people claim to have many dreams, but say they just do not have the time to approach them. Stop making excuses! You are the only one who holds the power to make a real difference in your life. Sure, we all have busy lives with our careers and families, but nothing takes up 24 hours of your day. So if something is truly important to you, you will be sure to make the time to work on it. You can do this by replacing it with something less important. For example, if you claim you do not have the time to work on the other important goals in your life, perhaps it is time for you to start making close observations on the way you spend your time. If you spend several hours of the day working, studying, and then several hours taking care of house chores and family, what else are you doing with the rest of your day? If you spend a good portion watching television, then you need to cut back on that and use that time to begin and follow an exercise plan you have been thinking to focus on for a long time (or whatever goal it is you have).

Making yourself one of your first priorities is not selfish. It actually is obligatory to do so in order to succeed in the other subjects of your life. Without a happy and satisfied you, there will be no happy and satisfied life, because you will be stressed out and unhappy. You might be consciously ignoring your needs and desires, but your subconscious mind has not forgotten about you and will constantly remind you through stress, anger, sadness, insecurity and feelings of failure.

Start listening to yourself and becoming the best friend and supporter you need. No one is going to work on your happiness for you, so find the power and motivation stored up inside you, and use it to direct yourself into the path of true happiness and satisfaction. You can do anything you set your mind to, and once you have stopped and gotten in touch with yourself, you will learn and realize just how wonderful and capable you really are, and how you always have been. You will not only realize these things, but also begin loving who are more and more, which will not only lead you to achieving the things that make you most happy, but will guide you into a world of many new dreams come true.